Thursday, January 15, 2015

Wow...1.5 years! A New Year, A New Me!

Hey there.

Trying to get back into blogging. Where does one even start? I've changed so much, my family has changed, the world of blogging has changed. I've never been very good at it anyway, but I feel the need to write my thoughts and life down, blogging is calling to me once again.

I started 2015 out with no resolutions. I'm not in the best of mind-set to indulge myself in these yearly requirements. I know I need to be a better wife & mom. I know I need to lose weight, I know my house needs to get organized, I know I need to lift some of the burdens of financial distress, I seek God daily, but I know I need to SEEK God Daily! I need to spend more time with my kids, I need to stop annoying habits, I need to find me-time. I NEED I NEED I NEED! So what is the point really of a New Years Resolution when you have so many things in life you NEED to do, but know that a resolution just means you recognize them, attempt to cross them off your list, but give up in a month or two anyways?

So my NON-Resolutions list inspired me to actually get off my butt and do things. 2 weeks in and I have no "Honey" Do List that is a mile long that needs to get done, but I find things getting done anyways. Maybe that is the key? Trick your mind into not requiring services of itself that it isn't yet ready to commit to? I have no idea! But if that is the key, then I think I'm doing pretty good. I have no deadlines. I do things as I see they need to be done and don't worry that I didn't get done something I had on my list.

I think this has happened to me because I'm sick of failure. I fail at so many things in my life that it's caused me to think of To-Do Lists as miserable experiences. Lists and tasks are stressful. I also think that my mind bulks at the idea of actually becoming a better version of itself because I don't want my husband to expect too much of me! Sad, but true! I mean, what if he actually came home to a SPOTLESS house for a week straight? He would fall over of a heart attack right? I was worried for his health! This is what I've been telling myself anyways. That I'm doing {or not doing} these things for his health! Well, 2 weeks into the new year of a clean house and he hasn't died of a heart attack! That in itself was a huge burden off my shoulders! I would never want to be the cause of my wonderful husband having any sort of health issues!

Then there is the entire Lose Weight Resolution! Who would want to make one of those?!?!?! I mean seriously, getting up 4-5 days per week early to go to the gym and put your body through the ringer because that is the only time that works for you isn't any one's cup of tea! Or making sure you watch what you put in your body so that your workouts get the maximum benefits. Staving off cravings so that you fit perfectly into your favorite pair of jeans! I boy-cotted this resolution to the 9's! I was determined to eat what I wanted to eat, even purchased a gigantic box of oatmeal cream pies because I've deprived myself of these for so long! I made sweets and treats and to hell with the consequences! Snacking, you betcha! Peanut Butter, Strawberry Jelly and Thomas Bagels! OMG Delish! But want to know what happened to this? That cake I made didn't taste good. I ate so much that I never felt good. The new jeans I purchased because my other ones were too small didn't fit right. Not tight, but actually a little bit too big and would stretch after the first wearing! I even put my gym membership on hold! To anyone reading this and thinking I sound is so true! I was so determined not to start a Weight Loss Journey, that I went in the total opposite direction thinking that I didn't care! In the end...I've found myself craving healthy...Total insanity!

You see, I am a mess-ed up individual! No lies here! So all this "I refuse to make a resolution before I fail" thinking, is working the opposite direction. I'm not failing. I'm changing. I feel it. I'm not cured, in fact, not even 90% normal! However, I feel the change in me because I want to, not because I feel I have to! It is an amazing feeling and I can't wait to discover what the rest of 2015 will hold for me and my family! My year isn't filled with Resolutions on what I want to change, it is filled with promises to myself to work on to build my character and my relationships! If I do these things each day, mixed in with a little crazy and a little lazy, I'm sure I'll be a better version of myself! Here's a look at what I wrote down in my journal!

On a side note, I want to wish a blessed Happy 8th Birthday to my son Lance. He is an amazing sweet little guy with a HUGE heart and many talents! God knew what he was doing when he blessed us with you! Love you to the moon and back and hope you enjoy the most blessed of all days and celebrate you all year long! I made the card using my own images, printed out on decorative paper and attached to cardstock. Simple, but I know Lance will love it seeing as how he is a Shark-FIN-Natic! You can also check out his brand new You Tube Video here...He's all about the sharks!

Hope you all have a blessed day, stay warm and we'll catch you all next time!


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